Life is fleeting

As we recover from the sudden and unexpected death of a dear friend, and this morning helped their husband into an ambulance after a fall - life seems so very fragile. I often teach about enjoying

I had started writing the above, when the news came that our neighbour had not made a recovery, and we were again in mourning (and shock) for the loss of someone very close to us. It has been an incredibly difficult four weeks as we have been shocked by the loss of our wonderful neighbours, a genuinely lovely couple that we have grown accustomed to seeing every day. Naturally our loss is very different to that of their family, for whom we have tried to be supportive.

While I have been working on appreciating each moment for the joy or learning that it provides - which has been going very well - it has been another challenge during this sad time to reflect at the end of life on how we look at a long span of time. Both our neighbours were in their 80's, and we had only known them for about seven years - it has been fascinating to learn more about their lives and to appreciate that each moment will then add up to something much more significant.

I teach on a course called 'Coping with Loss' and was able to use the resources for my own situation, and to improve and amend where necessary. Death raises such complexity to life and my main challenge has been in how to discuss the situation with two toddlers in appropriate ways, while trying to answer questions and not scare them. This challenge is ongoing, for the first time it's come into their awareness that hospitals can't fix everything...

The positive outcome is that celebrating a life allows us to focus on the overall good and not each individual moment - food for thought.

Magical Moments

I think the most important thing I've learned from my mission to appreciate what I have is that time sometimes just stops, and I can ignore the hurlyburly of living for long enough to breathe in the wonder of just being alive.

Today was that kind of day, we decided to have a family day out and just 'be'. It was almost a silent agreement between as us, there were no tantrums, few tears and hardly any biting - it was bliss. We laughed, went on a bouncy castle and just enjoyed time together.

Having said all that I had managed to put the washing machine, dishwasher and tumble on before breakfast, so normality still reigns!

Here's to an equally serene Sunday...

I'm back!

Well it's taken a while, but reading some of my own handouts and pulling myself together, as well as recovering from a virus means I'm now fully back in business. It's been a very busy few days away and then straight back to work, but I'm still feeling that life is good and I'm very lucky to be living it. The mission to manage my time better is still a work in motion - today it's taken until half ten at night to get to writing this (which I consider me time) and I've still not done much else on my list... But, a list is just an aide memoire and if I focus on what I have achieved today all the necessary things happened: kids went to nursery, I went to work, dinner was provided and all are now safely in bed.

Today I was talking about moving our focus from the negative to the positive, and making that a conscious choice in our everyday lives to boost confidence. Yet again, I need to practice what I preach - and it works!

Old dogs etc

Well, it turns out I'm more of an old dog than I realised. I've spent the last two weeks reverting back to my old ways of wasting time, feeling frustrated and out of control. I'm fairly sure it's triggered by stress at work, which has led to illness which has just made me want to hibernate from the world for a while.

I think there is a place for listening to your body, and taking some down time can be very beneficial, what I'm not good at traditionally is finding the right time for me to come 'back'. My natural inclination is to avoid hard work - however you can't take a day off from being a mum, and I've been so amazingly happy with how my mission was going that I want to get my mojo back asap.

I've taken some time (not by choice, but by medical need) to stay in bed for two days, and much as I would like to stay there for at least another week, I have to be up and 'mummy' tomorrow, so I plan to use the day to spark myself back into control. If I didn't think it would hurt I might even slap myself.

I was so frustrated to find myself having wasted two hours of my life in front of rubbish TV, and I was a bit shocked how easily I feel back into old habits that I feel more need than ever to savour every moment life gives me. When I think of all the things I complain I don't get to do, like read a book, that I could have done for TWO WHOLE HOURS! Even if I'd watched something on TV that I liked!!!...

So, I can learn new tricks, there's life in the old dog yet...

long time, no blog

It's been a nice reason not to have updated the blog for a while - lots of me time! My mission was taken to a new level as we were away for a few days without access to the internet (which is surprisingly relaxing), to go to the Paralympics and to celebrate my birthday.

My precious new appreciation of time made each day more magical. We stayed with family, so there was support all the time, and the need for my hour a day was less urgent. I am grateful to have spent some of my 'hours' with important people in my life, and doing things I valued (not laundry!). When we realise the importance of living each moment and taking what we can from every experience even little things can become such a blessing.

Now back in the real world, I felt overwhelmed by stress yesterday before returning to work. I was about to wish away the holiday, as it's stressful when you return, but managed to stop myself - remember the moments and breath again.

Take a deep breath - it's a busy week!

Little by little

I'm almost back to normal, well as normal as ever... I've decided not to consider being ill as 'me time' as although I did have lots of extra support, I was really poorly.

Today I managed to get my 'hour' - but in little tiny five minute sections, it was a 'bitty' day by any standards, but somehow having the rain beating on the windows and being all safe and warm inside was rather lovely. Having been very busy with visitors and visiting in the morning, the afternoon was chilled out and I managed to get quite a few useful jobs done. Little and often can work well and being productive can feel relaxing in a strange sort of way.

All that said, with the evening all to myself I've managed to get absolutely nothing done! I've been putting off writing an article as I haven't quite got it right in my head yet, but the deadline is looming and I was planning to get it done tonight. My excuse for now is that I'm watching the Paralympics Opening Ceremony, which is just wondeful to feel part of. Some things are worth pausing to enjoy - this is one of them.

Back on Track

Apologies for not being on 'mission' for a few days, I've been quite poorly, so virtual and real socialising has been on hold.

However, as an attempt to gain a bit of the mission, and to feel more 'me' I did treat myself to a trip to my lovely hairdresser. Having a bit of colour added to the ever increasing grey, and a good chop back into some sort of shape did make me feel more grown up, and more myself. The time it takes to complete had the added bonus of forcing me to read for two hours - a rare and beautiful thing! I'm reading The Hare with Amber Eyes at the moment, which does require a good length of time to get into, I'm enjoying it more now, but without that long stab at the beginning I might have not bothered as it lacks a certain something at the beginning.

Not much more was achieved in terms of me time - I'm not a very good patient, so being ill hasn't been easy. I'm very lucky to have good friends and a wonderful husband around me, 'me' time takes many forms as I've discovered, sometimes it's just about taking medication and not doing things!

Can sleep count?

After failing in my mission for the last few days, I've decided to count going to bed at 9.30pm last night - and the extra hour of sleep I got! Things have just been very busy here, and time for me has gone by the wayside a litte - which is as it should be, but I'm now feeling I could do with a bit of 'me time' back. It's hard to give out lots of energy if you don't get the chance to refill your own again. I teach about this all the time, and then forget to do it all for myself...

It made me laugh when I was teaching 'Stress Management' once and one of the students remarked that I must have a stress free life as I knew all these things. Of course that is far from the truth, and sometimes knowing what you should do is more frustrating when you're not doing it. I come up with all the excuses that my students do - but I then have to challenge myself to also follow through with the solutions.

Challenge for tomorrow - Focus on a SMART list of things to do, and then do them!

How about a minute a day?!

Well, I've decided not to make too many plans on my day off from now on, as they never seem to materialise... This week has gone in a flash, not sure I've managed my mission more than once. It's been a 'giving' week time wise as lots of good causes have needed my attention.

I have done all that was asked of me with good cheer - but now feel like curling up with a huge glass of wine and a good book (possibly some chocolate) in bed to recover from being nice. I do try hard to be kind and caring, but there are times when I need to just be a miserable so and so on my own. The weekend also looks packed, so I am pinning all my mission hopes on Monday, but as I reach for a tissue and feel a cough coming on it may be another plan that will be shifted...

I guess even happy people are allowed the odd grumpy day?

Time waits for no man...(or woman)

As we prepare to celebrate our daughters 2nd birthday I am marvelling at the speed with which two years of my life has gone by - and the incredible changes it has gone through. Spending more time thinking about how to spend time sounds a complete waste of energy, but I truly think I'm appreciating everything so much more.

My 'hour' has taken a bit of a back burner over the last few days as things have been pretty hectic, but I managed my book club tonight, and it was a lovely discussion about a book I throughly enjoyed, and would heartily recommend - Balthazar Jones and the Tower of London Zoo, I found it in the New Books mag that I subscribe to.

I'm a bit sad about the end of the Olympics, which as a joy to watch, but I'm excited that we may get some tickets to see some Paralympic events from friends, and in time for my birthday - now that would be many 'me' hours...

A lovely day today - and despite a virus and no sleep last night or tonight for the birthday girl - I have high hopes for tomorrow.

Are all hours equal?

Part of my mission is about the quality of the time I spend in different tasks, and it's been a really interesting experience. For example today I spent well over an hour vacuuming the house which - for those of you who don't know me - was not part of 'me time', however I do feel very satisfied about my endeavours, and much more relaxed than I did after reading a book yesterday. Some of the 'me time' is about doing things that are in niggling at the back of my mind, and therefore prevent me enjoying other activities. Today was one of those days, I got to do lots of jobs I hate - which doesn't sound great, but now I feel much better for it and have had a lovely evening with friends genuinely feeling relaxed.

Bring on tomorrow (but please just the essentials for housework).

Busy, busy

The original mission to have more 'me time' has evolved into more of an appreciation of the time I have, and what I do with it. Over the last few days I've not had a moment to get on the laptop - but for all good reasons. It's been a lovely mix of family time, as we celebrated our crystal wedding anniversary with a special day out all together, and some 'getting things done' time as we tried to do some of the big jobs around the house that have been on our minds for a while.

To be honest, I've also been totally absorbed by the Olympics, and the excitement is growing now so I'm typing furiously between the wonderful Silver medal for the 400m, and the countdown to the men's 100m!

Time is so precious, and as the 100m is about to show, just ten seconds can become the focus of the whole world. I'm enjoying the focus I'm putting on my own choices about how to spend each moment, and have made real changes to my actions... and it feels good.

Cheating

I'm now on annual leave, but on Mon & Tues the kids are still at nursery - so really the 'hour' is not so hard on those two days!

Yesterday I worked the whole day (albeit on my bed, with the TV on!), I wanted to get some time on my business and managed to sort out a facebook page, twitter account and those sort of fiddly things. I now need to work out how to manage them all without just adding to the time I spend on-line... I still haven't got a handle on Google Adsense and those bits, but I'm sure I'll get there today.

Today I'm taking a different tack for my 'hour or so' by having a more relaxing morning. Having got up as normal, kids to nursery with appropriate 'Show and Tell' items and raincoats, they were in shorts yesterday!?! I then walked the dog and have had a long hot shower using all my favourite products from Lush and even had the time to put on face cream. OK, so it was a freebie face cream I found but I could still hear my skin singing a bit thank you.

I'm now going to read my book, with the Olympics in the background and feel the luxuary of no special deadline this morning.

Hours in the bag

Yesterday I managed to have more 'hours' than ever before! I feel like I've banked some for less relaxed days. In the morning I went for a 'photo shoot' to get some professional shots for my website, and hopefully to go along with any articles that get published. It was a great session and although I'm still not that comfortable with photos of me, I enjoyed the experience and look forward to seeing the results.

In the afternoon we were invited to a Summer Party in the street, so the boys went on time, and as G was having a nap I stayed at home  - and had a nap myself. There was an achingly long list of things I could have done, but with my new appreciation of time I felt it was OK to just take a break. The party when we did get there was lots of fun and the weather was brilliant too.

As I hadn't been 'bouncing' for as long as hubs - I wasn't so tired, so had a lovely cool walk in the park with the dog (another 'hour') and then read my book in bed while hubs snored gently beside me. So, four 'hours' in just one day - what a lovely day spent with friends, family and sunshine.

Today has also been a joy. Again meeting with friends, spending time as our small family unit and enjoying the Summer. A thunderstorm later was the British weather back to normal - but having the Olympics to watch indoors means we're never bored at the moment. 

My hope for tomorrow is that my long 'to do' list includes just enjoying my first day off, without the kids for a very long time.

To tweet, or not to tweet

it's been a really busy few days, not managed more than 5 secs to myself but all in a good way. The last two working days were packed with mental exhaustion (never needed the Summer break so badly), and then the last two 'family' days have been non-stop. But the idea of my hour wasn't about spending time alone, but appreciating the time I have and enjoying it more.

I'm currently up very late, watching the Opening Ceremony of the Olympic Games, I feel very proud to be British, it's so exciting, I'm looking forward to all the wonderful sports to come over the next few weeks. I've never been a 'tweeter' although I've been thinking about opening an account over the last few days to help promote my business - I sudden wanted to be able to share the excitment of the Olympics and might try a 'tweet' tomorrow... It's already a busy day - so maybe on Sunday.

Every Second Counts

Well today was full of mixed blessings. Not managed more than five seconds to myself, but was very productive during my last day in the office before the Summer break and had a great team meeting which is always inspiring.

The heat seems to be affecting my brain power, as well as sapping any energy, so tonight will be early to bed (that said it's already 10pm!) and we'll be hopeful for tomorrow being less 'rich' in things to do. Of course after two days at paid work - Wednesday is usually the unpaid stuff like laundry, dishes, cleaning etc. However, as the kids get older and try to help it is at least a bit of fun to do and the me time comes from enjoying their company and watching them grow - the dust can wait.

My hour a day is more about refocusing my attention than actually racking up the 60mins. Today I reaslised how easy it is to focus on the wrong things - and forget the bigger picture. It's good to be reminded of what's truly important to me.

Bits and Bobs

I managed my hour today, but not all at once. I was at a great, productive meeting today, and a colleague bought me a hot chocolate afterwards and we got to have a chat. It was particularly nice as we work alongside each other regularly, but rarely get the chance to actually speak to one another about anything meaningful. Our passion about the Recovery Model in mental health were clear to see and it was a really wide ranging discussion.

Being a mum sometimes means I spend whole days only immersed in the children's world - which is a lovely place to be - but I do miss those very different kinds of challenging and engaging conversations that adults can have.

Back home

It was so nice to spend time with family, it's also nice to be home. I managed to get a few jobs done as well! While the gang watched a great movie one night (that I had already seen) I caught up with the latest copy of Writers Magazine - lots of good ideas and a few competitions to enter as well. I also got to discuss some ideas with people I trust, which is always a great way to get feedback and honesty.

Most exciting was trying out a Blackberry - it was much more user friendly than I had thought and I could see lots of potential...

All in all it was a great few days away from the normal craziness and although I didn't have lots of particular 'me time' that was good too.

Oops - missed one

Yesterday I just didn't get a chance to get to a computer - mainly because we are away with family and arrived late last night with no signal. Also because I didn't manage my hour yesterday, even though I had a really lovely day.

It's raised the issue of whether I should get better at using my 'phone for internet things... or whether I need an iPad!! Need is such an interesting word, I really want to go to a business women's conference in London, but the price is extraordinarily high and I can't justify it at the moment...

The signal here is pretty bad so I may not get to fill you in on my 'hours' over the next few days, but we're here to spend time and care with someone very special, so there won't be any 'hours' and that is how it should be.

Time Out (the good kind)

I went on a date today - with hubs! We were both off work and decided that although there is a comprehensive list of things we could have done, and feel very productive about - it would actually be nice to just spend some time together and not be at all efficient.

So, we put the rat race to one side for a few hours and went for a potter about. We had a great time, and included a trip to the cinema; ice cream and all. We even managed to use the cinema vouchers given to us when Z was born - 3 years ago! The trip was so lovely and we both benefitted from the 'time out' that we've pledged to go to the cinema once a month, and see if lovely GG will babysit... We've never had a night out yet without family babysitting, but GG is like family and I really think we'll benefit from some down time, our working lives are very busy and can be stressful - and seeing a movie is such a great escape.

Being a parent is such a joy - but so is being a wife and I don't want to loose the joy of that in the 'to do' list.